For fans of dark comedy, Monday’s papers are an essential read.

“Mubarak: the president of the Republic of Tora,” jeers Al-Wafd’s

headline, above images of the former president sulking in his gurney and

of his sons behind bars. The independent daily tied with the Wafd Party

reports that the supposedly ailing ousted dictator “attempted to deal

with the [Tora prison] warden as if he were still president.” The paper

says Mubarak refused to accept the traditional blue uniform issued to

inmates and insisted he be allowed to wear his “blue pajamas” instead.

He was then admitted into the prison’s hospital wing, where he promptly

kicked out all his nurses.

It continues, with all major papers reporting on Mubarak’s first night in Tora.

Al-Tahrir’s coverage has the ex-president popping sleeping pills and

verbally assaulting his escort guards by “cussing their religion” when

they tried to remove him from the helicopter upon arrival at the

hospital — a process that took three hours, much to the independent

daily’s amusement. Al-Tahrir reports that Mubarak only agreed to leave

his helicopter when his head bodyguard informed him that by doing so,

he’d be allowed to see his sons. Upon entering Tora, Mubarak was

“astonished to realize it was not the International Medical Center,”

where he had previously been held.

Mubarak was then allowed to see his son, who spent the night by his

side, in a “direct and immediate violation of the law in his first day

as an inmate,” Al-Tahrir reports, via its anonymous source. Their same

source then proceeds to complain about how security measures have turned

the prison’s medical wing into a “forbidden zone” where Mubarak’s head

of security sits by his master’s side — measures that the source insists

constitute a multitude of violations. 

The same source then states that, despite popular misconception,

Mubarak’s sentence encompasses the remainder of his life, not just the

next 25 years. Even when early parole becomes an option in 2032, the

source insists “the former president’s fate will be in the hands of

prison authorities.”

Al-Shorouk reports that the sentenced criminal “passed out” on no

less than three occasions during his registration process at the prison,

and asked to have his personal staff from the International Medical

Center transferred to jail with him, but the request was denied.

The independent daily elaborates on Mubarak’s refusal to disembark

from the helicopter that transferred him to prison, occurring amid “a

handful of smug smiles and far more teary eyes on the faces of the

prison guards and police officials.” According to the paper’s unnamed

source, the ousted president remained in his helicopter after it had

landed, demanding to know how such an unfortunate turn of events could

befall “the hero of the October War, the air force commander and

lifelong military leader.”

Al-Shorouk’s coverage also includes a moment of Shakespearean

self-reflection, with Mubarak reportedly overheard wondering aloud,

“What will come after the sentencing of Mubarak? What else is there to

be desired after all that has taken place?” The paper reports:

“[Mubarak] then began shouting, ‘May God punish those responsible for

sending me to jail, this is unjust! Unjust! I have always been with the

people,’ before surrendering to sleep until the morning.”

The paper also reports that enhancements made to the prison hospital,

including a range of “state-of-the-art medical equipment” and three

air conditioners, cost the state about LE4 million.

Details are slighter on the state-owned side. Al-Akhbar mentions the

former president’s “panic attacks” and that he went to bed on an empty

stomach after refusing to eat prison food, while Al-Ahram barely

acknowledges Mubarak’s trip following his sentencing in the “trial of

the century,” only in a few lines scattered throughout a number of

indirectly related articles. Both papers go out of their way to state

that not only did the former president spend his first night in prison

alone, but that his sons never requested to be allowed to join him

because their conflicting inmate statues — the sons await verdicts in

other cases, while Mubarak has already been sentenced — mean that such a

request “would not be legal.”

Beyond the previous president, Monday’s papers also focus on the

prospective one, and the increasing mudslinging between the two

candidates. Predictably, the Muslim Brotherhood’s Freedom and Justice

publication continues its attack on presidential candidate Ahmed Shafiq,

the former Mubarak-era prime minister who is slated to compete against

Brotherhood candidate Mohamed Morsy in the election runoff. Freedom and

Justice calls Shafiq the “Prime Minister of Camels” (an implicating

reference to the Battle of the Camels, which took place during the 25

January revolution) in an article taking its title from his alleged

quote-slash-threat, “It’s me or chaos.” The remaining pages are

dedicated to his bashing and, to a lesser extent, that of all forces and

institutions which are not the Muslim Brotherhood.

On the other hand, Al-Dostour’s front page carries two large images

of armed and masked Brotherhood militias, while declaring through its

main headline, “Shafiq is Egypt’s Erdogan.” Despite displaying minimal

text, Al-Dostour’s front page still manages to accuse the Brotherhood of

a variety of atrocities, including assassinations that both succeeded

and failed, and the intention to “hijack power and rule the country by

spilling blood and cutting out tongues,” while also suggesting that the

organization plans to assassinate Shafiq “at any moment.”

Egyptian expatriates began voting in the runoff election Sunday.

Al-Wafd reports that, besides Morsy and Shafiq, the ballots appear to

have been adjusted by voters to include another candidate — “The

martyrs,” written in using blood. The paper does not mention where these

ballots came from, but includes a camera-phone picture that seems to

show an expat with a small cut on the wrist and “The martyrs” written on

the ballot in red.